The Bitch

December 22nd, 2011

I had this post all planned out earlier today, and I had split it into three different sections and everything, and then I took my shot for 7 Days today, and I decided that it was so much more fitting to just name my game:

The Bitch

What am I talking about, you ask? Why, today’s Reverb Broads prompt, written by Jessica:

If someone made a board game of your life, what would it look like? What pieces would you need to play?

This is one of my favorite prompts from the month for its creativity, even if it is absolutely one of the most difficult for me to answer. Mostly because I rarely, if ever, think of my life as a game. But it’s probably a good practice, so here goes.

Yes, it would be called “The Bitch.” The first section of the game would have you writing and reading crappy, melodramatic poetry and whining about your teenage angst to score points and move your little book, computer, nail polish, boot, or hair brush piece forward. Bonus points if you land the part of the suicidal actress or a part in a Shakespeare play.

The second part would have you playing a bit of a dating game – like Mystery Date, only you’d know that whoever you picked was pretty much gonna suck, or you were gonna screw it up. Stay where you are when you meet a guy that sucks. One move back when you screw it up. Ten steps forward when you stay with a guy for more than two months (since that only happens once, that will be the final move).

Next up is the career portion of the game. Here you stumble through psychology, women’s studies and social work. You get extra points for taking English classes and learning how to work on websites. And then you move forward and backward through the tangled web of higher education. Sometimes you take a step forward, sometimes a step backward. Bonus points here are rewarded for presentations, articles, and professional volunteer opportunities. You have to move your piece back if you wear jeans to work, though.

Finally is the section where you start collecting just bonus points – for marrying your best friend, moving into your first house and doing work on it, having a kid whose idea of a good time is wearing a Darth Vader mask around the house, moving some place where your best friends are close by, starting a blog and making new friends online.

Your goal is to acquire bonus points that outweigh any moves you’ve made backward. Good luck – and let me know how you fare!